less than 24 hours

as the big day approaches, i feel violently nauseated. tomorrow at noon, match day across the nation commences. tomorrow at 1130, my school will begin it’s ceremony, which will entail some words from the dean and president of the school. then i will have the joy of speaking to the class, providing the toast. i suppose it’s good practice for rachel’s wedding. then it’s time. but you don’t know when it’s your turn. all of our names are on envelopes in a bingo type spinner. the first person is called… they walk up, open their envelope – they have 2 seconds to read it to themselves, compose themselves regardless of their emotions on what it says on that piece of paper, and then read it out loud to hundreds of people.  that little piece of paper – it holds each of our futures.

then they pick the next person’s name.  and so it goes for about two hours, with more and more tension with each passing minute that your name isn’t called.  as you hear people in your specialty of choice get their first choice or last, you become progressively more nervous – what if i get my last choice. 

i don’t know how i will ever sleep tonight.  i just keep telling myself to trust in god – i know he will send me where best i belong, but i pray that it is where i would love to be.  that we both see it as the place for me to go.

i don’t believe their are accidents in live – and as i look back i see each event connecting to the next and how important each preceding event was to what is happening right now.

wish me luck.