scrabble is ruining my life.

Posted in random rants on May 1, 2009 by whenispark

you know what happens when you play scrabble a lot and you  play with your boyfriend who is also very competitive?

i will tell you.  i will be talking to people in conversation or writing in this blog, counting the letters in words and thinking about their individual value.  right there, so many good ones – value, blog, think, divide…

you get 50 points if you use all your letters.


wedding bells and airplane tickets

Posted in tangential/circumferential, the home life on May 1, 2009 by whenispark

this monday, my aunt asked me to send her my itinerary for when z and i come to visit.  shortly after sending it, she calls me and starts the conversation with something along the lines of “do you have something to tell me?”  i’m initially bewildered and she skips the crypticism by telling me the plane ticket says “p duncan”  oops.  i immediately reassure her that an elopement is not in my stars, that is something more likely to be performed by my more romantic sister if it were not for her very practical fiancee.  she will vehemently deny this, but if she were born in the english 1800’s she would be in heaven.

actually, now that i think about it, if rachel were to be any jane austen character it would probably be the crazy one from sense and sensibility – you know who i am talking about…marianne.  yes, rachel is all passion and romance.  don’t let her fool you.  i like to think of rachel like jane too, because she is so beautiful, but i don’t think she has anything even close to resembling that nice, quiet demeanor.  haha, oh no.  rachel would probably vote for elizabeth – and who wouldn’t.  i think any girl with half a brain sees some of herself in elizabeth.  it is probably why we all love that book so much.

anyhow, the plane ticket had to be changed, and thank goodness ac caught it, or that would be quite a shock when z and i went in on that early thursday morning.  i called united, and they refuse to change it.  i sobbingly tell them that everything else is the same and that it isn’t changing who is flying.  so that ended horribly.  i call z at work, and he is clearly not going to be able to fix this debacle in any way from work.  so what does any 24 year old girl do?  she calls her mom.

and what does her mom do?  well if she’s the nance – she calls united and guilts them into changing the name on the ticket.  so in her usual fashion, she works wonders for me.  thanks as always mom. 🙂

as to what jane austen character i would be, i’m not sure.  i suppose maybe a mixture of elizabeth (as discussed above) and emma – a little bit proud, and a little bit of a snob, a little bit bored with other people, and a little bit nosy, fiercely loyal to my older sister, etc.

i should be productive

Posted in the home life on May 1, 2009 by whenispark

but i will have years to be productive.  i only want to sit outside and read right now.  i would still be out there, but this fair skin of mine can only take so much at a time.

i could be taking care of financial aid, writing the neverending speeches i have to give or converting an old ob/gyn notebook into a word format for residency.  i could do all of these things, but i will have time for them.  instead, i choose to sit outside on a one of those classy fabric lawn chairs in the front yard of z’s house and read the picture of dorian gray.

i have a word document on my computer at home of every literary classic, and it is my life goal to read them all.  it is another life goal to own my favorites.  since startng my campaign of laziness, i have read 1984 and slaughterhouse five1984 was pretty good, but i suppose after reading ayn rand’s novels, it is tough to love it. slaughterhouse five was a very enjoyable book.  it was a quick and interesting read that was witty in it’s humor, but sad at the heart of it i think.  anyway, after the picture of dorian gray, i will read where the red fern grows and to kill a mockingbird.  those two i am saving for last and am looking forward to the most.  i don’t know how i managed to skip them in my reading craze during my younger years, but i have time for them now.

after those?  who knows, but my word document has thousands and thousands, and i plan to visit my local borders tomorrow.  (i have a 40% off coupon – worth joining their rewards programs for that if nothing else).

the chain continues

Posted in medicine, the home life on April 21, 2009 by whenispark

z’s family –> me –> z hopefully he got it in time to be resolved for commencement ball.  poor guy.

“free” healthcare

Posted in Uncategorized on April 20, 2009 by whenispark

a story i wrote for a sci fi class at my school:

He sat on the exam table looking down at the gown, still debating which direction to have the opening face.  He hated coming to the doctor, but he wondered who really liked going anyway.  He doubted that this was a new phenomenon.  There is a faint rap on the door, as though the doctor was distracted as he knocked.  The doctor walked in reading the chart, looking up at him just as he closed the door with a finality that made him nervous. 


“I’m looking here at your blood pressure, and it appears it’s elevated today.  Did you have coffee, smoke or have anything strenuous happen today?”


“Um, uh, not that I can recall…why?”


“Well, those things can raise your blood pressure.  I need to assess whether it was a one-time thing, or more permanent.  We know genetically you have a long history of heart disease and hypertension in your family, and based on our DNA analysis, we know you’re approaching the age when it will develop in you.”


Without allowing any further discussion, the doctor placed the electrode over his heart.  He watched and listened as it pierced his ears with its high pitch beep signaling its completion.  He barely glimpsed the numbers as the doctor removed it from his chest.  Even if he hadn’t seen the numbers, he saw his verdict.  The doctor scanned the chip in his arm and entered the new diagnosis.


Later that evening, he returned home, still thinking about the slew of monthly injections he was  now mandated to receive.  The cost was not a concern; the government had long ago decided to pay for healthcare.  It was more than that.  He had heard his friends and co-workers discuss the other ensuing changes that such a diagnosis led to.  He sunk into the couch and heaved a deep sigh.   His wife would be home in a few minutes, and he wondered whether she would already know or if he would have to tell her.  Despite everything he had been told about the genetics and inevitability, he still felt responsible for the diagnosis. 


He commanded the viewing screen to turn on.


“ERROR.  You are no longer authorized for access to this unit.”


It had already started.  He could deduce what his new “options” would be: exercise, relaxation techniques, etc.  He wondered if he sat on the couch long enough, would it chuck him off of it?  At that moment, his wife opened the door.  He begrudgingly raised his eyes to meet hers.  She knew. 


“I tried to order groceries to be delivered today, and lo and behold, I can no longer order ice cream.  What will the kids have for dessert?  What is the diagnosis?”




It was like a death knoll.  To the government, it ran with the likes of diabetes and obesity.  Once they started paying for healthcare, it was easy for them to enact legislation deciding what you could and couldn’t do.  Very few people were still permitted to smoke cigarettes, which was primarily only tolerated because the government owned the cigarette companies as well.   The government was now able to control his diet, activity levels, and his habits.  It was a consequence that would reverberate throughout his home.  His children would no longer be able to watch the viewing screen with him in the room, and he now dictated the food they were permitted to eat. 


He knew he could tolerate it.  He had seen many others before him survive. 




the teacher said it was worthy of publication, but meh.  here it is.  published.

“embarassing” or “learning my lesson”

Posted in medicine, the home life on April 20, 2009 by whenispark

just over 1 week ago, i was exposed to it. ‘it’ you ask? it’s a disease that i have been taught since i was a young elementary school girl to cringe upon seeing it. the dreaded “pink eye” or in medical terms, conjunctivitis. the saturday prior to easter, i spent with z’s family, and on saturday evening, i glance over at the commotion surrounding his grandmother, when i realize immediately what the problem is.  it only takes a single glance, because when you are trained to look at someone’seyes, it is inevitably the first thing you see. 

and there she was, itching her eyes, goop collecting at it’s sides.  the family is ‘aww’-ing and sympathesizing with her pain.  they had all been through it one week prior, and the young children of the family had passed it to them one week prior to that. 

she left that night, and the following day at church and at the home of his aunt, i could hardly help but cringe or watch with my jaw dropped as she touched her eye and touched a child or my arm, and went on her way.  the whole day i washed my hands ad nauseum.  i could barely bear it.   i could only reminisceon how all i would need to do is walk past someone with it as a child to contract it.  just like some people get ear infections as a child, i get eye infections.  except mine haven’t stopped once i grew out of childhood.  with my transition, one thing has remained steady – my susceptibility to eye infections – hordelums, conjunctivitis, etc. 

the following monday, i thought i had made it.  i woke up with a sore throat, but otherwise, my whites of my eyes remained just that.  as the week progressed, my sore throat evolved into congestion, but still i was happy – it wasn’t pink eye!

on friday, i drove out to z, and we shared a very relaxing eveningout at a park having a picnic.  we returned rested, and went to bed.  at 4 in the morning, i woke up with so much congestion and my throat hurtingso much, that z insisted on taking care of me.  and as i trudged to bed, he exclaims, “your eye is so red!”  and my heart drops.  i lay in bed knowing i’m going to wake up with it.  and i did.  it progressively worsened as saturday went on, and my right eye quickly joined the left, succumbing to all that is pink and goopy.  the right eye pooped out so poorly it was even kind enough to also get a lid infection causing me to look like not only a stoner, but a stoned quasimodo.  this peaked on sunday, and somewhat this morning, but i am on the mend.  my eyes are still red, and there is some swelling, but i’m hoping for a decently quick recovery.

i do hope i didn’t pass it on to z, but as he has started this week with a similar set of symptoms that i started with, i don’t know his chances of escaping.  so in all my squeamish-ness and disgust with the lack of sanitation on his grandmother’s part, i have been paid in full with my judgement.  

and as i sit here writing this, i simply thank my lucky stars that the cops came 2 months ago to arrest people at my house for drugs, and not today, because i look like a perpetual stoner.

it’s done!

Posted in butterflies, medicine on March 19, 2009 by whenispark

well!  sigh – it is all done. 

my speech went well, even though i almost cried. 

my name was called by the most unlikely of characters – someone who has been an entertaining arch nemesis for 4 years now (he liked me and i turned him down for his friend – unknowingly!).  the crowd through up an excited cheer, and i walked up to the stage.  opened my envelope, hoping i wouldn’t give myself my usual papercut.  and of course, you can never open that paper fast enough, AND since you don’t know where the name of the hospital will be on the paper – you frantically search for your hospital’s name. 

but there it was…my number 1.  i am so happy and so excited!