Archive for March, 2009

it’s done!

Posted in butterflies, medicine on March 19, 2009 by whenispark

well!  sigh – it is all done. 

my speech went well, even though i almost cried. 

my name was called by the most unlikely of characters – someone who has been an entertaining arch nemesis for 4 years now (he liked me and i turned him down for his friend – unknowingly!).  the crowd through up an excited cheer, and i walked up to the stage.  opened my envelope, hoping i wouldn’t give myself my usual papercut.  and of course, you can never open that paper fast enough, AND since you don’t know where the name of the hospital will be on the paper – you frantically search for your hospital’s name. 

but there it was…my number 1.  i am so happy and so excited!

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tough

Posted in random rants on March 19, 2009 by whenispark

it’s tough when on one of the most important days of your life, more of your best friend’s family is coming to see you than your own.

i can make plenty of excuses, but with only my brother going, it seems like a poor showing.  some of it’s my fault by not telling people soon enough, but i did tell my father, and he won’t be there.

 

i don’t know how i will ever be able to sleep tonight.  i should have taken han up on her offer for a beta blocker.

less than 24 hours

Posted in butterflies, medicine on March 18, 2009 by whenispark

as the big day approaches, i feel violently nauseated. tomorrow at noon, match day across the nation commences. tomorrow at 1130, my school will begin it’s ceremony, which will entail some words from the dean and president of the school. then i will have the joy of speaking to the class, providing the toast. i suppose it’s good practice for rachel’s wedding. then it’s time. but you don’t know when it’s your turn. all of our names are on envelopes in a bingo type spinner. the first person is called… they walk up, open their envelope – they have 2 seconds to read it to themselves, compose themselves regardless of their emotions on what it says on that piece of paper, and then read it out loud to hundreds of people.  that little piece of paper – it holds each of our futures.

then they pick the next person’s name.  and so it goes for about two hours, with more and more tension with each passing minute that your name isn’t called.  as you hear people in your specialty of choice get their first choice or last, you become progressively more nervous – what if i get my last choice. 

i don’t know how i will ever sleep tonight.  i just keep telling myself to trust in god – i know he will send me where best i belong, but i pray that it is where i would love to be.  that we both see it as the place for me to go.

i don’t believe their are accidents in live – and as i look back i see each event connecting to the next and how important each preceding event was to what is happening right now.

wish me luck.