that’s in reference to the post and then my run.
the ob shelf was horrible. i have no idea how i did, but it certainly didn’t feel good, especially considering how hard i studied.
looked at my time for that 5k from june 14th – i ran about 9:48 minute mile. today i ran 4.1 miles at about 9:15 minute mile. See – it totally was that guy talking to me. I ran a longer distance in a shorter amount of time per mile.
well, another 5k this weekend i think if dave would ever get back to me. dbag dave!
time for me to brag some:
so after revealing my concern about not doing well on my shelf tomorrow to my favorite ob/gyn attending, he pulled me aside and sat down with me. He proceeds to tell me i am the best medical student he has seen in 4 years, and if it were possible, he thinks i should be hired as a resident now. both major compliments. we talked for a little while longer and i mentioned i may decide to stick around here to practice and all that and that i would give his group a call (just sort of being friendly, but i really would), and he got serious and told me he would absolutely hire me.
i dunno, there is something crazy about this rotation. i have wanted to do well, my motivation has been extraordinary even at the end of the rotation. i feel so prepared, and my test questions have shown it. on my past usmle world test, i managed a 74% and the average was a 54%, and it wasn’t a fluke. i had other exams where i also did well. now, the last step is hopping into bed and getting some sleep…after i finish this post.
another inspiring and wonderful event that happened was having the chair of the ob/gyn department page me to ask how my race went this weekend. the same ob/gyn doctor who calls me “non-meg” or when he’s really into aggravating me – just plain meg. you know it’s cool when an important attending goes out of their way to ask you about your personal life.
these two attendings are both attendings that i will have write letters of recommendation for my residency applications. i will ask my clerkship director as well, but i really feel like these are the two that know me the best. hopefully i will also be able to get one from an away rotation, which i mail in one of the applications tomorrow. cross your fingers!
today, i ran my first 5k. overall i did pretty well, clocking in around 30:18 for 3.1 miles, and my goal within my head was around 30 minutes (i wanted to run less than a 10 minute mile). it was a pretty fun experience, although strange, because realistically, i could run for free at home rather than pay 20 dollars, but it goes to charity and all that. additionally, i’ve realized, these races provide that motivation to run even more. it gives me something to which i can compare myself. for instance, the next available 5k, i can run it with the hopes of improving my time.
although, i must say, i probably could have been under 30 minutes had it not been for this random man trying to hold a conversation with me while running. Since i had set the goal of ~30 minutes, i knew i’d have to run pretty hard, especially considering the humidity and rain. it was bound to be a tough run. and i know it had something to do with the whole talking thing because for the first 2 miles, i was fine running at my usual pace. i remember hitting two miles at about 19:30, and it was meh from there cause he wouldn’t stop talking. this man ran next to me for about 1.5 miles, and here he is with his jumbo long legs, and my with my little ones working to maximize their stride. curse him.
nevertheless, i was happy with my run and finish. i set a realistic goal an achieved it. it was especially fun because in the beginning, you see all these people sprint off, and you want to run past them, but then you calm yourself and let it go. because when you get to that last half mile, those are the people you pass. while some people were walking up that final hill, i jogged with pride (although, with my runs, they always end on a hill). so yay to the next one (potentially july 4th).
dave hit his goal of 25 minutes, and rachel without any particular goal or preparation hit 40 minutes (under 13 minutes/mile – very nice! 
)
somehow, while on gynonc, i got suckered into seeing a patient that i never saw in the or. in general, it’s my job to see the patients whose surgeries i went into. well this lady is quite the case. for her cancer, she had an ex lap (exploratory laparotomy). nevertheless, i have sucked it up and gone and seen her every morning, checked out her wound and got the heck out of there before i messed something up. since she had a pretty unusual case, the surgery residents were the primary docs for her, not the gynonc team.
this morning i walk in, notice her bandages were looking a little gross, so i changed them after giving the incision a quick look. when i looked, it looked like the days prior when i first saw her with my resident. i didn’t give it much thought. the surgery resident comes by, and i mention to him i have changed the dressing, but i left it on loosely for him to take a look, if he wanted. he goes in, comes out and says…
“so did you notice the thing with her incision”
now, as any half-wit or above will figure – that means something is wrong with the wound and it is not in fact like it was before. still, i say…
“it looked okay to me…”
“except that the wound has dehis’d and the bowel is showing.”
“oh yeah that… i didn’t exactly have the best surgery rotation.”
despite my idiocy of missing the bowel (it looked like muscle!), he still gave me credit for mentioning her bandage was loose, explaining that they were going to send her home today. on the last day, he doesn’t check their wounds, and if i hadn’t done all that garbage above, she’d be at home. instead, it was back to the or for her. yikes. could explain why she told me she was in a different city and didn’t know the month (couldn’t even guess).
i am convinced now that my boyfriend has been spying on me. there is this resident within the ob program where i work that has randomly asked me some weird questions about my boyfriend since she met me, and i have worked with her minimally, so her questions have been extremely unusual. her questions also come out of no where.
then i ask him if he knows someone in the program from his medical school, and he’s all like no… but who are you thinking of. i name her and then he’s like ooooooh yeeeeeeeeeah she is there. she is awesome, blah blah blah.
i’m being spied on for sure.
ah, nothing like meeting up with some people from high school.
i was supposed to spend some time with my friends from hs, linds and ash when i got kind of tired. i bailed and told them have fun. they text me telling me, hey, we’re going to MM’s, you should come. i keep saying no, but then some of the boys there, get a hold of my number, and i realize there is a zero percent chance of me getting any work done.
here’s a roster for you (rach): shane b., matt m., shane s., and mike m. some of those you won’t know, but the most entertaining one is the first, one rachel will most certainly know. SB was the most popular boy in school, and consequently, the most obnoxious. from grades 7-10 he teased me incessantly, sometimes to the point of meanness. then there was a turning point in 11th grade and he was nice. i never bothered trying to figure out why, because i never cared.
if we go forward a couple years, bri and i go out and run into him and his buds. bri had always been better friends with them, but i never had much inclination for anyone in hs. we hung out with them, and at the end of the night, he asks me to “make out” with him. barf. i simply say, i have a boyfriend, and all of a sudden he’s like ‘oh well, i didn’t mean it, i have a girlfriend, i’m loyal.’ this is why i have so little faith in boys and relationships and marriage.
so the other night, telling him about a story from 7th grade regarding his poor treatment of me (cause i hold the power now, dammit), and after his interspersed “sweethearts” (barf again), the conversation goes something like this:
“oh well maybe i had a crush on you.”
“or maybe i always gave you a good reaction to keep you going”
“maybe, but i could have had a crush on you.”
“i doubt it.”
people do that kind of thing to atone for the past in hopes that they have a chance in the future. it’s sickeningly obvious and if i didn’t transmit it well through this post, then i apologize, but that was the ploy. around the time all of these people started getting drunk and disgusting (like commenting on my boobs and other such nonsense), i left along with my friends. it makes me look back and thank god i never wasted time in high school trying to hang out with people like them. it makes me so much happy that i spent time with my best friends and family and didn’t waste a moment on that drama.
it’s kind of sad to see such a legacy (albeit highschool legacy), become so pathetic.
so i went running this evening, and what a beautiful run it was, until about 1 mile in, i felt something in my eye. unfortunately, i have humongous eyes (such that in middle school, a boy used to call me “bug eyes”, something my sister still likes to bring up), so it’s not unusual for something to end up in there. i mean, when it comes to probability, and i consider the amount of space on my face my eyes take up, something is bound to end up in there.
so as i said, i am running, and i stop and try and get it out, keep trying, keep trying. finally i reach a point where i can’t feel anything, and i’m pretty sure i got whatever it was out. fast forward. at home looking in my little cosmetic mirror, and for some reason, i pulled my eyelid down. in retrospect, i really don’t even know why i pulled down my eyelid. my eye wasn’t bothering, but lo and behold, there was something tucked away in it. and you know what it was? if you haven’t guess by now, you’re a damn fool. a bug. gross.
i ran miles with a bug in my eye.
dicussing the topic of a working up an abnormal pap, i noted a couple concepts we didn’t quite go over. i started asking about “CIN I” and how to work it up after you reach a certain point on the diagnostic and management algorithm. CIN = cervical intraepithelial neoplasia – it’s basically what happens when you get one of the nasty hpv viruses (16, 18, the 30s, etc) and can’t fight it off yourself. i should also preface this story with the fact that i pronounce acronyms, so CIN is “sin” – sort of ironic when you are talking about what is considered a sexually transmitted infection.
“so after a patient has a repeat pap after their biopsy shows ’sin’ one – er, i guess i shouldn’t say that, i could really offend someone.”
you know what a classmate’s response was (albeit joking – still not funny)?
“oh come on, let’s call it like it is.”
normally, this is the type of joke i might laugh at. what makes this person’s joke not funny, is the person who made it. she is one of my best friends (although a little less so now), who has known about my trials and tribulations when i went through having an abnormal pap, which was positive for hpv. this was followed by a colposcopy and one biopsy (which made me hope it wouldn’t turn out bad), and was found to have probably CIN 2, which is moderate dysplasia. then i underwent a leep, which is where they burn off half your cervix, which was a tough decision because it increases your risk for cervical incompetence (but the other option was worse). cervical incompetence means my cervix in the future may not be able to support the weight of a baby and i will have an increased risk of preterm labor and miscarriage. awesome.
this ‘friend’ knew all this. it doesn’t help that she has also lived an absurdly sheltered life. she was married to her high school sweetheart and didn’t have sex until marriage. she has never had that person cheat on her with another person – and her greatest difficulty in life is her mother driving her nuts, her husband being in another state, and now, she’s pregnant (although that garners less sympathy because it was secondary to her supreme laxity with birth control pills). living this sheltered life, she continually makes inappropriate jokes around attendings and other people in general, such that she is bound to offend someone. me in this case, but everytime she does it, i try and suggest her watching what she says. she just brushes it off.
well, that’s all fine and good, but i refuse to tolerate that kind of behavior. no friend of mine has ever said anything so disrespectful or thoughtless regarding a disease i will probably have to worry about for the rest of my life. a disease 60% of the population is able to fight off, but my body is apparently unable to (probably a lot to do with life stress).
call it like it is? okay:
people who contract hpv are not whores, and it’s not a sin to have hpv. all it takes is to date a guy who has had sex with multiple partners, or basically anyone who has had sex with more than person. it could be 2 people. your whole life. or just one but that person was with more than 1. that’s it. and what super sucks? you can’t test for it in doods.
and we definitely do not need future doctors out there propagating the social stigma related to it, when parents are already up in arms about the possible implications of giving their daughters the gardasil vaccine when it has the chance to spare a woman the stress and anguish of cervical cancer or its precursors.
my main job on ob? deliver the placenta fool. and like every good medical student, i must know the signs that the sack of blood that attached to the uterus for months like a parasite is ready to come out:
1. cord lengthening (duh)
2. uterus hardening
3. gush of blood
the other night i was on night float, and after having delivered the baby (wohoo!) it was time to deliver the placenta. the cord started lengthening pretty quickly as i pulled, and i could feel her uterus contracting pretty hard. after much lengthening, i saw lengthening no more. and i was all like, where the heck is the gush of blood and why did the cord stop lengthening. now my regular blog-readers (rachel and dave), i was no noob at placenta delivery by this point, i mean heck, they graduated me to real live babies. i figured, this bad boy is probably stuck. then a thought crossed my mind:
thank god i put the ugg boots on. the ugg boots are booties that go up to your knees, which is sweet cause the gown goes past them, meaning i am covered in fantastic blue disposable fabric.
back to the situation – peek in the vajay, see the placenta hanging out, and give it a nice tug. and you know what decided to show? that gush of blood – except now, it was a damn geyser, because as i patiently waited for the placenta to come out, all that blood filled up in the uterus until it was ready to shoot out at me – me who was front and center. needless to say, i was quite literally covered in blood. at that moment you kind of just have to laugh. especially when the new mom asks “is it weird to be covered in someone’s blood.”
my response? you just kinda get used to it. ha, used to it.
