c/s

aka c-section.  my first real day on ob consisted of me being privy to such an event.  it was pretty much utter craziness.  i’m scrubbed in, fortunately not retracting, but definitely getting pimped watching the whole thing with a phenomenal view.  basically after you have just let loose the ocean, aka the amniotic fluid, everywhere, there have a weird looking alien.  babies are actually pretty gross looking when born, which i know is decently well known now-a-days, and c/s’s are no exception.  however, once they’re pulled out, the cord is cut and they’re cleaned up (all of which takes about 5 minutes), they’re adorable and incredibly tiny.  i have seen new babies, but not newborns.  they are magnificient.  i don’t know that i would want my own, but you can see easily how beautiful and precious human life is.

it’s unfortunate when you see them and think of the hardship they will endure.  in that moment that you stand next to the incubator, there is nothing so beautiful as a new life.  they lay there wrapped up, silently wiggling within their blanket.  this one in particularly layed there opening and closing his mouth.

a woman’s climax

you dirty bird.  we’re talking life climax.  which according to ob/gyn books, is menopause.  the whole phase preceding and following menopause is termed climacteric.  because, you know, that’s when woman reach their peaks with hot flashes, headache, night sweats, irritability, mood changes.  the whole gamut.  not only that- basically, it’s saying, “well, it’s all downhill from here.  hope you enjoyed it cause it’s not gonna get any better.

oopsees

i have been rather deliquent again.  i couldn’t help it really.  i have been kind of miserable, which generally leads to me wanting to avoid rehashing those things that make me miserable.  that’s a cop-out though because i don’t even write about such things on here.  only the things that drive me bonkers (love that word) and the things that make me laugh.

so i will do a bunch of little short ones to keep you happy.  or miserable, my writing is pretty terrible.

abg like what

any day in the er that is a procedural day, is a great day in my book.  today was such a day. 

it started off slowly, i saw an old guy with sob (shortness of breath).  we get him all worked out, and i head over to another room with leg pain.  this guy ends up looking like a drug seeker, although his case was somewhat more complicated - he still ended up being a jerk…will talk about him later.  sooo, i am talking to leg pain and i hear my name paged to the front.  i walk out the room and dr. d awaits me, asking if i’ve ever done an abg (arterial blood gas) - i tell him once unsuccessfully. 

a few seconds after i say this, i remember the  thing i did unsuccessfully was actually an arterial line - but i was like, oh heck, he’ll still make me do it, and the process is similar.  i head over to the pt’s room (sob), and i did it.  did what you ask?

i found his radial pulse in his arm, cleaned it with alcohol, then prepped it with betadine.  then with a syringe, i stuck him at a 45 degree angle and up goes the blood.  i hand that to the nurse and i’m done.  it sounds so easy when i write it here, and realistically, they are easy, in terms of procedures, but today was my first day doing them.

dr. d walks in and asks if i got it, and with him, being mildly confident is a bonus - so i tell him, of course i did.  he laughs tells me his usual saying - even a blind squirrel finds a nut some days.  but then i got to prove my procedural ability:  i did two more successfully.   after our dialogue, he says, alright, no get over to room 2 and do another.

i walk in this pt’s room (another sob), and stick it right away.  these feats end up compounded because, really, if you think putting in an iv is bad, try going for something deep, that isn’t just below the skin. craziness.  thank goodness this woman was in a stupor.

when it was time to repeat room 2’s abg, the family was in there.  and when it comes to family being in a room for a procedure, let me tell you - lesson learned.  i should have known it wouldn’t go well when they instantly began harassing me about the procedure.  you know, the trained professional at these with all of 2 under my belt.  but dammit they don’t know that.  (which ps, is the hilarious thing about the hospital - you could definitely be a person’s first go at something).  through it all, i got plenty of evil stares (not exaggerating) and harassing, but through it all, i got her radial artery, and left handed no less.