ideally…

i have recently decided that while my doctor interviews psych patients, i am just going to start writing their quotes.  The most recent one from the 100% american indian:

pt:  I need a breath of fresh air and a cigarette.

doc:  See, in my mind, those two things are diametrically opposed. 

(this pt is smart, so he can say words like diametrically)

pt: that’s because you are a victim of propaganda.  tobacco is a holy substance. especially for american indians.  5 cigarettes a day is ideal.

doc:  how do you come by this kind of information?

pt: it’s common knowledge.

 apparently, the physicians of the world have missed this boat of information.