a brief reminder on why i hated surgery

i had a momentary scare today consisting of getting back my surgery grade.  i hadn’t been expecting it, thus when i looked at it, i initially thought it was my internal medicine grade, which i had been told to expect from my old clerkship director.  i tore open the envelop, hungrily reading the comments left by my clerkship director, and my heart drops.

“this student is certainly progressing appropriately.”

i would accept this as a comment if it wasn’t already clearly stated by the box he checked.  i was expecting a lot of average marks because of barely missing honoring, but i wasn’t expecting the lame comments to.  after reading more thoroughly, i also wasn’t surprised to find it was my surgery clerkship.

only on a surgery clerkship could you consistently wake up at 4-5 am (depending), study your ass off, etc and be told your doing appropriately.  however, i am well aware of the fact that had i gotten only two more questions right on my shelf, this man would have been singing a different tune. 

unfortunately, this is how medical schools work.  you can be socially retarded and still be considered one of the top students.  ironically, the top students are generally socially retarded because instead of interacting with human beings, they hug and molest their books continually.  there are exceptions, but it’s the most common system. 

i miss the robots

as my time on electives winds down (all two weeks), i am looking forward to returning to the general psych ward.  i miss my delusional d/o and schizophrenia patients.  i miss being called names.  i also miss feeling like a i contribute in some way.

 unfortunately, on the gero-psych unit, i am mostly in the way.  my day begins with reading the patient charts to see what happened through the night.  if the doc hasn’t arrived, i may or may not see patients – this part is up to me.  he will in no way use my note, no reading or co-signing.  if i talk to the patients and write a note, it is only for the practice of writing a note and practicing the mse (mental status exam).  unfortunately, this is what most of third year is like.  you have to be extremely proactive, which isn’t always a bad thing, but to some degree, i would like someone to tell me what to do – what my responsibilities are.

anyway, after i have seen several patients, i sit around and wait for the doctor to show up.  if it’s a day like today, he doesn’t.  i wait and wait, study a little, wait some more.  finally, at noon, i get fed up and leave, telling the nurses that i have lecture in the afternoon at another hospital, which is true, but my lecture isn’t until 3 pm.  at first, i felt bad doing this, but when the doctor isn’t there, and i have fulfilled my obligations, i’m not going to hang around when i could go eat lunch, then spend the afternoon studying and being productive in other ways as well.

don’t get me wrong, the doctor is a really nice, and he’s a good doctor, but he’s not a good teacher.  i also admit he’s a very busy man.  he is often there until 8 pm seeing patients and making sure they’re all doing well.  i have seen him sit down for 30-40 minutes with families to discuss care goals regarding their parents.  he is an exception to the rule, and clearly loves his job.